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Blackjack Terms
[This isn't as funny as my parody of Craps, but what the hell.]


Blackjack Terms
by Michael Bluejay | michaelbluejay.com

Blackjack has its own unique lingo, and learning it will make it easier to play the game at the casino. The first thing is that you want to find the proper "joint" to play in, meaning a casino that let you make small bets. "High" table minimums are an attempt to "weed" out the low "rollers". By the way, casinos don't discriminate, so as long as you have money, you can play even if you're a "brownie". Unlike poker, you're playing against the house instead of the other players, so there's no "pot". When playing Blackjack and you have a low hand, you take a "hit" from the "dealer". Your objective in taking "hits" is to get the "high" hand. If the "dealer" gives you a lot of good "hits", you'll want to give him a "toke". After all, he's helped to increase your "stash" of chips. If your "stash" increases substantially, you'll probably be feeling some "ecstasy", and you should give the "dealer" another "toke". If the other players are winning too, you'll all become "buds". It's fun to see another player's face "light up" when he's dealt a natural. If you win a substantial amount, the casino will have you fill out some "papers" for the IRS. Blackjack has a different decorum that Craps, and if you make too much noise the pit boss may ask you to "pipe" down. If you're really obnoxious, the "dealer" may "buzz" security. If you're really bad, they may ask you to leave, but they won't "bong" you on the head. Finally, remember that if you're playing a face-up game, then don't touch your cards, or the "dealer" may "smack" you.

 

Practice gambling with play money

Before you throw down your hard-earned cash in a casino, PRACTICE FIRST!  Learn the games with play money where it doesn't cost you anything if you lose.  Seriously.

I like Bovada's practice games the best, because you can play right away without registering for an account.  Most every other online casino makes you give up your email address just to play the games — ugh.  That's why Bovada is the only online casino that gets space on my site.  I hope other casinos will eventually start treating their visitors like human beings rather than walking wallets, but until they do, there's Bovada. One click and you're in.

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I believe everything herein to be accurate, but I'm not responsible for errors or omissions. I'm pretty irresponsible, actually.

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